The Malkin Dream

A short note before we get into the craziness: it has become clear to me that many people are having Celebrity Dream Cameos and they are not sharing them with our readers. This is selfish. I will not name names but I expect several dreams to be submitted to my private e-mail 3bulls at gmail dot com. That being said I have had dreams with Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Pop Renaissance in them. The Bruce Willis one was just like watching a bad action movie, but the ending was really creepy, like Outer Limits creepy. The Sly one was just weird. It was like Rambo 27 in the future and nothing really happened. Except the riff from Happy Mondays’ “Loose Fit” kept repeating and it was exceptionally creepy as well. It is odd when dreams have a soundtrack and I know it was not because that song was playing on my alarm clock. That would be an awesome alarm clock.

The Malkin dream:

So I was dreaming about something else that I don’t remember and then it shifted to me being on the computer and I was reading a blog post that was something like this:

Note to Readers: Someone had some orange popsicles in the Blogger freezer, I hope you don’t mind that I took them. Thanx!

-Michelle Malkin

Obviously since this is a dream, nothing strikes one as weird, it seemed very natural-like there was a work fridge shared by all bloggers. I mean I think we know who keeps abandoning smelly leftovers and who keeps getting KFC to taunt the rest of us that have to have PBJ every day. Anyway, there was an update:

UPDATE: It had just come to my attention that the orange popsicles were left in the freezer by an unhinged lefty blogger Auguste who would like nothing more that for me and my unborn child to become dehydrated. I am NOT sorry I took the popsicles, my family’s welfare comes first and I defy anyone that wants to hurt my child!!!!

-Michelle Malkin

I was all wow, she really turned on a dime there, and also, Malkin’s preggers? I had better get over there to help her with this negativity, it might be bad for the baby. Before I could have a heart to heart with Michelle I had to somehow go to work with Jesse. He apparently worked at the American Enterprise Institute (AEI). They were in this old buiding, kind of like an old New York Banck building, with a grey stone classical facade. The building said something else, but had some cheap banner that was pretty small hanging over the corner of one side that said “AEI”. I told Jesse that nobody was going to take them seriously and that the sign looked trashy.

I don’t remember what happened at work, because all of a sudden I was counseling Michelle about her negativity and mood swings. I told her that that craziness could hurt the baby- like if she didn’t keep herself in check the baby would be OK, but somehow something weird would happen and the baby would disappear (like poof out of her womb). So she was trying to be happy and less negative and we were feeling really positive, but then she would just go psycho, like cartoonishly so, and I would just say “NO MICHELLE, THE BABY!!!!!!!!” and she would snap out of it. I don’t remember what happened after that. The main this I remembered was that she somehow had to be hydrated and she was mad at Auguste because she had eaten his popsicles.


I picked this image of La Malkin because she looks both motherly and maybe a little dehydrated.

I think that was the weirdest one yet, but I bet Chuckles are weirder, and yet he won’t share. Cobag.

7 Responses to “The Malkin Dream”

  • Pinko, cut the whining. So, BG loves us more at RoD and sent us the dream cameo. UC did too. What are you going to do about it if we don’t e-mail them? Ban us from the site?

  • Hey hey, Pinko Punko, I sent you a weird dream with Howard Stern, Vinnie Jones and the school made out of asbestos. I guess that wasn’t weird enough. I shall have to write you the one about hope chest now. Check it.

  • AG is banned.

    Hey Chuckles, I htink you just sent a topic sentence about that dream. You have to write it out, not just say who was in it. Send it in!

  • Good. It’s about time AG got banned. Oh wait, AG’s been banned about 200 times at AG laughs at you, Pinko.

    Chuckie, you see what I mean. Look at Mr. Bossy here. He’s all, do the work and I will steal the credit on my blog. He wants you to pimp your dreams for his blog. This ain’t no gameshow called, “Pimp My Dreams, Pinko”.

  • AG is banned from the world.

  • The world cannot live without AG!

    AG laughs and eats a Kelly’s Roast Beef and has some Rod Dee, to spite Pinko.

    Eat it, Punko!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!

  • she was mad at Auguste because she had eaten his popsicles.

    Supposedly that’s my wildest dream.

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